Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Something to think about....

This could very well possibly be my very last post. I have things to think about regarding my blogging. I have been enjoying the release of things on my mind for well over a year now. After having to delete my first blog and start this new one, I just may be at a point in time where I'll stop altogether now. I know for this week atleast it will be my last entry as I leave tomorrow to go see Bob until Sunday morning!! A much needed mini vacation in more ways than one. Anyone reading this may wonder why I'm on this line of thinking. All I'll say is that because of a few readers I have, I feel I can't truely express myself in the way I want to. Sometimes I just want to pound away on this keyboard and get shit off my mind.....it's why I titled my blog "It's my life..my thoughts...my everything". I feel limited and that's not good. Sometimes I type entire posts and then just delete them. There are some things I'd love to vent about but don't want certain people to know what's on my mind or that I just want to vent and someone reading it will take the wrong way not realizing I just need to get it out of my head. Blogging for me has given me an escape from my thoughts and introduced me to people all over. It's opened up alot for me. I love feed back on my thoughts most of the time. Sometimes I just need to write about my days and don't expect any responses at all. Now that I feel limited in what I can talk about, I just may stop all together. I just have to think about it. When I started this new blog I was positive it was completely annonymous so I felt free to speak my mind. I just don't know now what I can say or not say anymore. Everyone will tell me....."it's your blog and you can say anything in here you want to and shouldn't worry about what other people think about it".....trust me, that's exactly how I feel, but in reality, that's not how it is. I know I'm talking in circles here and probably not making sense, but some very personal questions were asked of me yesterday by someone that I took as "fishing" for information. Most of the questions asked where started out with "can I ask you a personal question?" Naturally I said yes but regretted it right away. #1 I don't like being put on the spot. I don't lie so I answered most of the questions. It's been weighing on my mind alot overnight.

The thing with this blog is, if I feel the need to write about some decsions I'm trying to make with my life and writing about different directions I'm working on, it shouldn't effect other areas in my life if it's just me writing about thoughts....but I'm afraid it's coming to that. If I choose to stop blogging, I will infact continue to visit all the blogs I enjoy reading on a near daily basis. I'll make a decsion on this when I get back on Sunday.


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